Last week my boyfriend, Steven, saw an… interesting sight. He was driving down a side street in Sandton when he spotted a woman hanging from the bonnet of gentleman’s car.

Now, I wouldn’t even like to guess what might have made a woman act in such a way, but these strange “road incidents” seem to be happening all over Johannesburg, lately. And I thought I’d like to offer some advice, for those of us who feel… that at any moment we might become the victim of a mad, recently-retrenched banker’s road rage. So in a heartfelt bid to keep you (and myself) on the roads – here’s how to handle someone on the brink of road rage…

* Stay calm: It may be hard to do if someone is screaming at you and using threatening language or movements, but it can be done. If you get angry back, then things can easily escalate. You are dealing with someone who is not in control of his or her emotions. If you remain calm, it can defuse the situation. Take a few good deep breaths and think of a peaceful, calm place in your mind, and go there.  Keep thinking, ‘I am calm, I am in control’ and you will start to feel that way.

* Keep communicating: Frustration is often at the root of much anger, and a lot of that comes from not feeling heard or understood.  Saying: “I am sorry you are upset, what can I do to help?” will usually disarm them. The best way to deflect someone’s anger is to be nice to them, and keep on doing it.  Reduce the emotional temperature by speaking in a warm, friendly voice and don’t be tempted to speak quickly. If you keep speaking at a slower, calmer pace it will help slow them down too.

* Don’t be drawn in: Whatever you do, don’t respond in kind.  Stay as polite and pleasant as you can. It defuses their anger because it doesn’t have anything to fuel it. If you can have a lot more self-control of your emotions than they do, then you are not going to be drawn in.  It’s not about ‘winning’, it’s about staying safe.

* Remember, it’s not personal: Out of the blue a complete stranger starts getting mad at you. Maybe you took ‘their’ parking space or cut in front of them. Why doesn’t matter. What is important to remember is that it really isn’t personal; this is their problem. Nevertheless, it can be hard to take, because it certainly feels personal. But how could it be personal when 9 times out of 10 they don’t even know you or anything about you?

You may not be able to avoid rage, but you can diffuse the situation and stop it from turning dangerous.

I hope this week, that no one launches onto the bonnet of your car. Until next week!